Teddy Thompson (teddythompson) wrote,
Teddy Thompson
teddythompson

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Don't they know it's the end of the world? It ended when you said goodbye

I was hoping by hiding away in some secluded area I would be able to escape everything; I was only half right, as always. I have been able to stay away from my journals, meaning most of my deep thoughts. I scribble down random things in my paper journal when the mood strikes me, and lately it hasn't been that often. My flow of conscious hasn't been that prominent. I have been able to get out some good song lyrics, but only one line at a time, which is overly frustrating. I lack my guitar, and being secluded without your creative outlet can get tiring. Most music is formed off of emotions, right? I can't even write anything at my most emotional time. Certain things aren't meant to be grasped I suppose.

I received a call from my Mother a few days ago. We talked for a long time, longer than usual anyhow. It could have been because I felt so alone or maybe because I was alone. I hold so many things from my childhood against my Mother, which I know is not fair, but it's almost human habit. Blame your creator or care taker. In reality she is almost like my best friend, and I love her dearly. She was going through a hard time while raising us kids, so I guess I can't really blame her for the way things happened. We talked about a lot of things; love, life, family, friends. I thought out loud a lot. The thoughts I was unable to express on paper just openly flying out to whoever was listening. She told me she hated to see me the way I was, when I replied with, "What way am I?" She just said, "You know." And sadly, I did. "Come home, Teddy. I miss you, Camy misses you. Just come home, please." I didn't know what to say to her. I gave her my silent okay; she knew what I was thinking. She arranged all the details. I'll be flying out Sunday morning around 9am LA time, and arriving in London early Monday morning around 6am local time. Conveniently, I have a pretty lengthy layover at JFK in New York. Normally this might annoy me, but the layover gives me the ability to go check up on my vacant apartment. As far as I know, Tuesday evening we are attending Midnight Mass in Trafalgar Square, not my idea. Christmas day will be at my Mum's house, complete with my Father, his new fiancée, and my two sisters. Oh did I forget to mention my Father's new fiancée? We can suitably keep it that way.

I have no thoughts on my current situation, nor do I even really know my current situation. Living in my little bubble world had its advantages. I know I owe a few of you some phone calls, and some comments, just give me time. I promise I will return to the world of AIM soon. I just need a bit more time alone.
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